BE THE PERSON YOU NEED - PART 1
DON’T SAY YOU RELATE
Sept. 30 2024
I’ve run myself in circles trying to come up with the most perfect, hard-hitting “first hoodie drop” for almost two years now… embarrassing. I wanted it to be unique and original, but simple enough that it could appeal to everyone. That was my first realization — DSYR is not supposed to be for everyone. It’s for those who feel like their purpose has always been to understand, but never to be understood. So that old mindset is out.
I wanted my first drop to be “Be The Person You Need” because it has so much meaning to me.
The whole objective of DSYR is to listen. Make others feel seen and heard the way YOU would like to feel seen and heard. Don’t Say You Relate. Be the person YOU would need. When listening to a friend vent, a stranger joke, or your partner spew frustration… embody the nature and temperament you would be craving if you were in their shoes. It seems obvious, but understandably, we all get caught up in our own challenges and DSYRs. ;)
Once I knew in my mind I wanted this to be the first one out of all the little phrases I’ve thought of, it lived in the back of my mind — and I didn’t even realize it until I found myself consciously implementing this mantra. All my life I’ve had meaningful conversations everywhere I go, and always felt that people tend to open up to me about things they might not talk about casually. From a young age, it honestly always felt like the one job in the world that I’m confident in being good at: letting people feel that I care. I take my job very seriously.
We all grew up learning about the Golden Rule. I think of Be the Person You Need as the grown-up DSYR version.
I know depression, anger, loneliness, anxiety… I’ve found myself at serious lows and moments of yearning that brought out some vengeful, extreme, irrational thoughts and actions.
I know how much it mattered to me when someone made me feel like what I had to say had value somehow — like I was meant to be there. My self-esteem was so low at times, that it could be one interaction — where someone who I thought was cool made me feel like I made a point, or that I was funny. They unknowingly gave me a reminder that I was worthy of existing. Life is worth navigating. And I’d just think of those moments as a feeling of support or backup to my insecure thoughts to feel an ounce of self-love crawling back to my soul.
Interactions matter. What you say is important, but what you don’t say speaks volumes too.
Sometimes, when you notice yourself wanting to relate to someone with your version… but you don’t, you walk away feeling better that you didn’t. Let’s try to find the security within ourselves to feel whole and extend it to others too.
Be a reminder to people that they are worthy.
P.S. — This part one of my three-part blog is just a reminder that it’s so important to fuel your own higher self (we’ll talk about that in the next one)… but lifting others up will lift you up too while you’re at it.
In this crazy life, we’re all just walking each other home.
